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Attachment Trauma: What Is It, and What Works?

Attachment Trauma—At a Glance

  • Attachment trauma is a relational injury that develops early in childhood or even in infancy in the context of a caregiver (like a parent). It happens before language develops. The injuries are from caregivers who are emotionally unavailable, anxious, avoidant, unpredictable, neglectful, or frightening, disrupting the child’s sense of safety and connection (Zagaria, 2024).
  • It includes preverbal trauma, where emotional pain is stored in the body and nervous system rather than conscious memory (Lahousen, 2019).
  • Research shows it can affect emotional regulation, self-worth, and adult relationships and may continue across generations if unaddressed (Yehuda, 2018).
  • Attachment trauma is common among adults who feel emotionally numb, overwhelmed, or anxious in relationships or fearful of abandonment—even when no obvious abuse occurred (Dagan, 2022).
  • Learn more about healing from pre-verbal and attachment trauma rooted in implicit somatic memories. 

What is Attachment Trauma?

Attachment trauma is a relational injury that begins early in life.  It can imprint the nervous system and shape how we relate to ourselves and others. When caregivers are unpredictable, emotionally absent, or frightening, the child’s developing attachment system adapts to survive, often at the cost of ease with closeness, trust, and self-worth 1, 2.

A Relational Injury That Begins Before Words

Attachment trauma is not caused by the child; it is something that happens to the child within a caregiving relationship.

How early can attachment injuries begin?

Attachment patterns begin forming in the first months of life when the early life of the child has not been met with nervous-system attunement (Lahousen et al., 2019; Feldman, 2017). 

How do attachment injuries show up? 

Attachment symptoms predate current relationships. People describe a repeated pattern of reactions and responses in relationships they engage in. 

Relationships

  • Fear of rejection/abandonment, reassurance seeking, fear of being alone (anxious patterns)
  • Emotional distance, lack of trust, over-reliance on self or discomfort with touch and intimacy (avoidant patterns)
  • Having both anxious and avoidant patterns shifting at times of stress (disorganized patterns) (Dagan and Ford, 2022; Farina et al., 2019).

Emotions & Self-Concept

  • Shame, worthlessness, self-blame, chronic loneliness.
  • Trigger-driven reactions that feel out of proportion to the moment (Farina et al., 2019).

Nervous System & Dissociation

  • Fight/flight/freeze/fawn responses, startle, hypervigilance
  • Dissociation, or “zoning out,” especially under relational stress (Sroufe, 2005; Sroufe, 2010).
  • Chronic numbness that began at a very early age.

Learn more about symptoms of trauma (click here) and complex PTSD (click here). 

What is preverbal trauma?

Preverbal trauma is a sensory and somatic imprint from exposure to adversities during an infant-caregiver dyad before the development of any language.

When there are no words, the adverse impacts are stored primarily as sensations, affects, and survival responses rather than a story, words, or a memory (Lahousen et al., 2019).

Symptoms may be confusion, chronic anxiety, or freeze states; feeling unsafe without knowing why; separation anxiety; being triggered by closeness or abandonment; and deep fear of emotional intimacy. 

Image-of-an-infant-in-childhood-attachment-trauma

Nothing really bad happened to me growing up, but I still feel no sense of belonging or rootedness. I don’t feel there is place for me that feels like home.

Somehow I carry this deep void in me; it is like unexpressed grief, but I have never experienced clear loss in my life.

I have always been on edge; I do not remember not being like this.

The world feels like a danger; people do not feel safe—it feels like I do not belong, like I don’t even exist. 

 

Does it begin only in my own lifetime?

Attachment trauma can have intergenerational roots. If our caregivers’ trauma histories shape their behavior and impact their ways of parenting, this gets passed on to us as an inherited burden (Yehuda and Lehrner, 2018; Bowers and Yehuda, 2016). By working on yourself, this is a gift that you offer your future generations. 

Can  I heal from attachment trauma?

Healing is possible across the lifespan because of the brain’s neuroplasticity. The brain is a plastic organ that can mold in adversity but also reshape from restoring and from corrective experiences too. The work of therapy requires somatic focus and parts of the person that carry bodily stored memories.

Effective routes include attachment-focused psychotherapy like Internal Family Systems (IFS). Other trauma therapies (EMDR) that reduce reactivity and integrate implicit memory. 

Intro sentence ↓ FAQ Key Box

Frequently Asked Questions About Attachment Trauma

Is attachment trauma the same as childhood trauma?

Yes, childhood trauma that happens later in life may begin from early attachment injuries of the infant-caregiver bond. 

How do I know if I have attachment trauma as an adult?

Common signs include fear of abandonment, emotional shutdown, people-pleasing, mistrust, difficulty with closeness, low self-worth, and chronic anxiety in relationships.

Can attachment trauma be healed later in life?

Yes. Adults can develop “earned security” through safe relational experiences and trauma-focused therapy (Maciel, 2023). Healing is almost always possible if the right support is offered and the client feels the therapist is attuned sufficiently.

What therapy helps with attachment trauma?

There are several attachment-focused therapies in the field of psychotherapy. Dr. Millia offers what she believes is a deeply healing modality—Internal Family Systems (IFS)—and EMDR, combining it with somatic work that supports nervous-system regulation.

Is attachment trauma connected to anxiety or relationship problems?

Yes. Early adaptations to relational stress can drive ongoing anxiety, conflict cycles, codependency, emotional avoidance, or fear of intimacy.

What causes attachment trauma?

Emotional unavailability, chronic criticism, inconsistent caregiving, parental mental illness or addiction, divorce, medical separation at birth, or persistent emotional loneliness—even in otherwise “good” homes.

Is it always caused by parents?

Not intentionally. Caregivers may carry unhealed trauma, mental health struggles, or cultural pressures that limit emotional availability. Intergenerational transmission is documented (Yehuda, 2018).

Can attachment trauma exist without childhood memories?

Yes. Many injuries occur preverbally and are stored as body responses and emotional patterns rather than explicit memories (Lahousen, 2019).

Is online therapy effective for attachment trauma?

Yes. With a safe therapeutic alliance, online therapy can support attachment repair and regulation—helpful for expats and those with demanding schedules in Dubai.

About Dr. Millia

Dr. Millia is a trained trauma specialist with over 25 years of clinical experience in psychiatry and therapy. She trained in the UK’s NHS system and served the NHS in various clinical roles.

She is a former EMDR Europe Approved Consultant, EMDR researcher, and board member of the EMDR Association UK. She is now a member of the EMDR International Association (EMDRIA).

Dr. Millia is also a Certified Level 3 Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapist, bringing a compassionate, parts-informed approach to her work with clients in Dubai.

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